Phalanx of Phoenix
by Sith Droideka
Summary: Companion fic to An Abundance of Edgeworths. A little less than one week later, a disgruntled Miles Edgeworth must deal with the confusion of nine different Phoenix Wrights, one of whom does not speak English and another of whom does not know who Edgeworth is. Also, grape juice.


**A/N: You don't have to have read "An Abundance of Edgeworths" for this to make sense, but since I make so many jokes about it, it'd probably help.**

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><p><em>April 20, 6:00 PM, Wright &amp; Co. Law Offices<em>

After the fiasco last week, Edgeworth was already on edge by the time he reached Wright's law office (making sure to park a good bit away; some of the people on Wright's street looked as though they could not be trusted around a nice, imported, _expensive_ sportscar like Edgeworth owned). When Wright opened the door almost immediately after Edgeworth knocked, the only eyebrow-raising element besides that was how bemused Wright looked - but then again, that wasn't exactly a difficult state to induce in him.

But when Edgeworth actually came in and saw eight more Wrights all lounging around the office, well, that was a different matter entirely.

"So it happened to you, too, then?" Edgeworth said drily, as one of the Wrights (one that looked exactly the same as the one who greeted him at the door, of which there were only a total of three) gasped in surprise(?) and practically tackled him; Edgeworth chose to tactfully ignore this Wright. _For now_.

"Yep," door-answering Wright said, grimacing. "I hoped you might know how to… you know, get rid of them?"

Edgeworth looked around. Besides the aforementioned three identical Wrights, there was a nine-year old one in a t-shirt; a college-aged one in a hideous pink sweater with a 'P' in a heart on it - Edgeworth could only hope it was his first initial; one who looked a bit older, not quite a decade, Edgeworth thought, and was wearing a grey hoodie, blue beanie, and at least a week's worth of stubble; one who looked to be the same age as the slovenly Wright but was wearing much nicer clothing than Edgeworth had ever seen Wright wear; one who was woman, but otherwise seemed as was expected (although Edgeworth did notice with a trace of dry satisfaction that _his_ genderbent self from last week had a fair bit more curves on her than this version of Wright. Edgeworth chose not to think about it after that, though, lest he remember the way Wright had "subtly" ogled the female Edgeworth); and finally, one who looked normal, except for the apron and the fact that he was probably the most confused one there, which was really saying something.

Edgeworth turned back to the first Wright and gave him his best "Are you kidding me?" look.

"Hey, I didn't sign up for this," he said defensively.

"More to the point," Edgeworth said, looking back around at the assembled Wrights, "who exactly _are_ all of you?"

"…who are _you?_" the confused baker retorted. The Wright hanging on Edgeworth's arm bristled at him.

"You're an adult version of Edgeworth, right?" fourth-grade Wright asked, looking like he was trying very hard to process this all. "What's up with the… ruffly thing?"

"It's von Karma, isn't it?" sweater abomination Wright said sadly. Edgeworth shifted his gaze to the next Wright without even acknowledging that comment.

"_You're not Mitsurugi, are you?_" the third normal-looking Wright said in Japanese, eyeing Edgeworth suspiciously, "_why do you look exactly like him?_"

"_It's a long story_," Edgeworth replied in his best Japanese, which admittedly was a bit rusty and accented.

"_…I see_," Japanese Wright said, "_I'm Naruhodou. I have no idea how I got here, and I can't keep up with all this English, so…_"

"_You aren't missing anything_," Edgeworth told him.

"Hope you guys aren't talking about us," stubble-Wright said with a bland smile. "By the way, I'll just put this out where everyone can see it: I'm from the future, and he-" he jerked his head towards the well-dressed Wright, "-is from _my_ future."

"By a year," well-dressed Wright clarified, "I'm not as old as he's making me sound." He paused. "Or would that be as I'm making myself sound?" Meanwhile, baker Wright was marveling over the wonders of the remote control.

"I didn't just say that out loud, did I?" female Wright suddenly said, clapping her hands to her mouth.

"Say what out loud?" every Wright in the room except for Naruhodou said at the same time.

"N-Nothing," female Wright stammered, conspicuously avoiding eye contact with Edgeworth and blushing furiously. Edgeworth rolled his eyes.

"_What just happened?_" Naruhodou asked.

"_It seems your female counterpart is about as shameless as you are._"

Naruhodou turned faintly pink. "_I think you mean my female, _American_ counterpart._"

"_So you admit to being shameless?_"

"Show-off," normal Wright muttered.

"Just because I bothered to learn a language other than English," Edgeworth began condescendingly, but was cut off by pink-yarn-Wright.

"Hey, I'm taking Spanish," he said indignantly, "so yes, I _did_ bother to learn a language other than English."

"And how did that go?" possibly homeless Wright asked the non-displaced-in-time-and-space Wright.

"…not so well," said Wright said sheepishly.

"What's Spanish?" baker Wright said. He didn't appear to be kidding.

Edgeworth, not entirely wanting to know what was going on with that one, turned his attention to the youngest Wright, who had been scrutinizing him for some time now. "Yes?" he said. (He wasn't good with kids…)

"Nothing," child Wright said quickly, "it's just that you look so much like Mr. Gregory." Edgeworth frowned. The oldest Wright quickly changed the subject.

"Now that we've got someone who's kind of been through this before, we should be able to figure out how to return everyone to their proper times and places, right?" he said.

"I hope so," Ms. Wright said, "I'm not saying you look bad as a man, Edgeworth, but I'd rather go back to the woman I'm used to. This is just… weird."

"I think having so many of us is the real weird thing, though," the 'P'-loving Wright said, "although I don't really want to go just yet. We have so much to talk about, Edgew-"

"Not for another three years you don't," the oldest Wright said quickly.

"But this strange meeting didn't mess with time at all for you, did it, Edgeworth?" homeless Wright said, smiling shadily.

"Yeah," modern Wright added, "you'd think everything would have changed if Bratworth actually remembered arguing with Glassesworth, or if Mini Miles knew he was going to grow up to become a prosecutor-"

"Edgeworth becomes a _prosecutor!?_" young Wright yelled in shock and horror before Edgeworth could ask about the nicknames.

"Oops," beanie-and-hoodie Wright said, laughing.

"_What's going on?_" Naruhodou asked Edgeworth, "_I heard the word 'prosecutor'._"

"…what's a prosecutor," baker Wright said flatly, "is it like an inquisitor?" Edgeworth felt bizarrely tempted to make a Monty Python joke.

"Oh, by the way, me," Ms. Wright said, addressing the oldest Wright, "I know it's a stupid question, but - what's up with your clothes? Are you telling me I can actually afford to dress like Edgeworth in the future?" Her eyes gleamed. "Does that mean I can get a car, too?"

"Funny you should mention Edgeworth," the oldest Wright said, nervously touching the back of his neck, "he's kind of the one who picked out these clothes in the first place. Oh, and I still don't have a license, so…"

"Besides," homeless Wright said, "to get to him, you have to go through me first." Ms. Wright grimaced.

"…what happened?" asked normal Wright anxiously.

"Long story, let's not talk about it," the oldest Wright said, glaring shortly at his one-year junior. Then his eyes widened. "Hey, Nick," he said conspiratorially, "_this_ Edgeworth won't get mad at us for drinking grape juice…"

"Excellent idea, Phoenix," homeless Wright said with a lopsided smile, "yo, me, we're going to go raid your kitchen." The two oldest Wrights then wandered off.

"Um," college Wright said, "what just happened?"

"Apparently the older we get, the more irresponsible we get," normal Wright said, cringing.

"Did… did I just watch two different versions of my older, male self fall off the wagon?" Ms. Wright asked herself in equal parts horror and confusion.

"_Wait, why did they leave?_" Naruhodou asked.

"_I… think you have some hard times ahead of you_," Edgeworth said evenly.

"I don't get it," baker Wright said. Kid Wright shrugged. He still looked troubled.

Speaking of things he didn't get, "there's still someone here of whom I am unclear as to his origins," Edgeworth said, gesturing towards the Wright who had not said a single word this whole time, on account of his face being buried in Edgeworth's shoulder. It was surprisingly easy to get used to (or at least ignore).

"Oh," modern Wright said, "well, if we look at what happened with you last week, it's kind of obvious…"

"That's gay Phoenix," Ms. Wright said with a barely restrained giggle.

Before Edgeworth had time to disentangle himself from the discussed Wright, he raised his head. Edgeworth immediately noticed how red his eyes were, which was explained when arm-clinging Wright said hotly, "I'm not 'gay Phoenix', I'm the normal one from 2017 and I just _really missed Edgeworth_, okay?" His grip on Edgeworth tightened and he muttered, "no homo."

Edgeworth looked from 2017-Wright to normal Wright in confusion, uncertainty, and a little bit of perturbation.

"W-Wait wait wait, it's not like that," normal Wright stammered, turning bright red and waving his hands in front of him.

"Yeah!" sweater-wearing Wright said, "I'm not gay! I have a GIRLFRIEND!"

There was a brief pause, and then several Wrights started laughing: the one who belonged here sounded extremely bitter, and from the kitchen, one of them sounded nervous and the other one sounded like he was about to collapse a lung from laughing too hard.

"_The world has gone mad_," Naruhodou said solemnly. Edgeworth nodded.

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><p><strong>The hardest part about this one to write was that, unlike Phoenix, Edgeworth doesn't assign all the different Phoenices (that's the plural form of phoenix, I looked it up) silly nicknames. So I'll just list who was in this, in case you got confused: nine-year-old Phoenix; college Phoenix (3-1); in-between RftA and JFA Phoenix, when Edgeworth had 'died' but Phoenix had yet to turn all bitter and lashy-outy about it (that's the gay Phoenix, btw); normal Phoenix is T&amp;T Phoenix, or rather right after T AJ Phoenix; DD Phoenix; Japanese Phoenix, from just after GS3, so the same time period as the default Phoenix here; genderbent Phoenix, also from the same time period as the default; and Phoenix as he lived in Labrynthia under false memories in PLvsPW - don't worry, if you haven't played it, it's not nearly as much of a spoiler as it sounds like. Also if you haven't played it: in Labrynthia, prosecutors are called inquisitors, they don't have TVs, and I'm preeeetty sure no one speaks Spanish.<strong>


End file.
